Weight loss, sigh!

Weight loss is a picky thing.
Each time I sit down and try to lose weight, I come up short, or even heavier, if you know what I mean.
First off, there’s writing down everything you eat. If I could do that I would be writing the next Great American novel.
When I first joined the Shreveport Times I sat in a vacated desk and saw a sheet of paper left behind. It said pistachios, 8; one granola bar, one piece of bread.
I knew exactly who had been sitting in this desk. It was a failed member of a diet plan that made people write down everything they ate.
There is a better way: aversion therapy.
Each time dieters go over their daily limit they could be shocked back into the plan with a cattle prod.
Or, the diet plan can hire someone to come and beat them up each time they exceed their allotted points level.
That’s only the first problem I have.
Secondly, there’s attending meetings and actually weighing yourself. I am okay with attending meetings because I like group affirmation therapy, but weighing? Ugh!
Instead of weight measurement at diet centers they should call it suicide watch. Once that number comes up, no amount of clapping will ever convince me I shouldn’t jump off the Red River Bridge.
But, it’s nice to see that the plan worked for Stockwell Place Elementary School counselor Stacy Walker.
This week’s Bossier Voices profiles the teacher who has lost almost 100 pounds on the Weight Watchers plan.
“I’m not the person I used to be,” said a much happier Stacy Walker.